I awoke with the sunrise beaming through my cavern’s mouth. The breakfast club lay beside me, still sticky from last night’s antics. Most folk are taken aback when they see it—a squat wooden rolling pin with a toothy maw. The club hungers every dawn, and so do I. That’s the deal. We eat together.
By mid-morning, I’d found breakfast. A clumsy half-ogre stomping through the woods, ripe for the thumping. The club bit deep into his arm, and he howled like a kicked dog. Energy coursed through me, my legs lighter, quicker. It’s been said, “When you grow up, your heart dies.” This poor brute would never find out.
A few days later, as I skulked through the crumbling ruins of a forgotten tower, I found trouble again. A celestial, by the looks of it, all gold and grace. I didn’t bother with pleasantries. The club sank its teeth into her feathered arm, and a glow spread up its shaft. There were two hits. I hit her. And she hit the floor.
By nightfall, I sat by a crackling fire, the club resting across my knees, still pulsing faintly from the celestial’s blessing. I caressed its gnarled surface, wondering what it would want tomorrow. A bull, perhaps? Or a vice principal?
The Breakfast Club
Weapon (Any Club), Rare
The first time after dawn the club deals damage to a hostile creature, it deals an additional 1d8 piercing damage from its bite. While wielding the club, it grants an additional benefit depending on the type of the creature bitten:
- Aberration, Celestial, Fey. The club deals an additional 1d6 radiant damage.
- Beast, Giant, Humanoid, Monstrosity. Your speed is increased by 10 and you have advantage on attack rolls against creatures that are at full hit points with this club
- Construct, Ooze, Plant. As a bonus action, you can attack a grappled creature with the club.
- Dragon, Elemental. Increase your reach with this club by 10 feet, and it gains a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls.
- Fiend, Undead. When a creature within 5 feet of you hits you with an attack, it takes 1d4 necrotic damage.
This benefit lasts until the next dawn.
Check out last week’s item: the chain of command.
