I was in me hut, sharpenin’ me knife when that idiot neighbor of mine started singin’ again. Not the kinda singin’ that makes you tap your foot or hum along. No, this was the kind that makes you wanna stab somethin’. Loud. Off-key. And it never stopped. It was like he was tryin’ to make the whole swamp hate him. Well, he succeeded. I hated him most of all.
I’d tried everythin’. I yelled at him. I threw rocks. I even set his bushes on fire once, but he just kept singin’, like he was too stupid to notice. That’s when I started thinkin’ about killin’ him. Not just thinkin’—plannin’. I’d wait till he was passed out drunk, sneak in, and cut his throat. Maybe take a few of his toes as trophies.
But then I saw it. The belt.
It was late, and the moon was hidin’ behind the clouds. I was peekin’ through a hole in his hut, watchin’ him stomp around and sing some awful song about love or somethin’, when I noticed the belt around his waist. It had shiny gold plates and a huge mouth. Made his voice louder than a dragon’s fart. And that’s when I got a better idea. Why kill him when I could just take the belt? No blood, no mess, no chief askin’ questions. Just me, sneakin’ in and puttin’ this nonsense to a stop.
I waited till he was snorin’ on the floor, a jug of swamp grog spillin’ out of his hand. The hut stank like rotten eggs and wet dog, but I didn’t care. I crept in, my knife ready just in case, and went straight for the belt. The buckle came undone easy, and I slid it off him, careful not to wake his ugly face. As I slipped back into the night, all I could hear were crickets and croaks.
Belt of Belting
Wondrous Item (Belt), Rare (Requires Attunement by a Bard)
While wearing this belt, you can double the volume of your voice. The range of your Bardic Inspiration feature is increased to 120 feet.
When a creature rolls a 1 or 2 on a Bardic Inspiration die granted by you, they can treat it as a 3.
As an action, you can cast the thunderwave spell (save DC 15). Once this feature has been used, it can’t be used again until the next dawn.
Check out last week’s item: the weapon of life and death.
