The Vault: Excalibrrr
Was out ice fishin’ for eels, when I sees this lass under the lake, all froze up. She’s holdin’ out this shiny bit of metal. “Oi, you,” I hear in me head, all solemn-like. “Take this blade, for you are…” I didn’t let her finish. “Yeah, yeah, I’m bloody destined or whatever. Hand it over.” […]
The Vault: Cat’s Pajamas
Turned out later they was made by some lonely old hag who never got herself a proper coven, so she kept cats instead.
The Vault: Boots of Kicking and Screaming
The bouncer let go like I was on fire. Then I gave him a swift kick to the shins with me new boots. Sent him flying into a stack of kegs.
The Vault: Headless Headsman’s Axe
“The Headless Headsman’s Axe!” he says. “Cuts right through the soul, leaves the body tidy.”
I squinted at it. “That’s a club,” I said.
The Vault: Bow Staff
“I said a bo staff, not a bleedin’ bow staff!”
The Vault: Hurry Cane
I give the stick a waggle. “Go on then,” I says. Next thing I know, me feet’s buzzin’, and I’m tearin’ down the road fast as a horse.
The Vault: Spellbookler
Next thing, spell pages be flyin’ loose, mergin’, and I find meself shrouded in a mystical glow.
The Vault: Deck of the Card Shark
The air went all crackly-like, the way it does before a storm, and then out comes the Card Shark, me own personal guardian.
The Vault: Bag of Bricks
But then I clocked it: the bag o’ bricks, just sittin’ there beggin’ to be nicked. I swiped it quick. With it I could magic brick panels out o’ nuffink it were.
Monster I’d Like to Fight: Grave Drummer
That loud buzzing noise is the first sign of a nearby grave drummer, a giant insect that is seeking to find hosts, either dead or alive, to carry its larvae.