In a dimly lit tavern, where ale’s scent mingled with the promise of daring quests, tales of mystical artifacts floated through the air like wisps of smoke from a hundred pipes. It was on a chilly eve when I first caught wind of the elusive deck of some stuff.
Huddled ’round a weathered wooden table, fellow fortune-seekers spoke of its wonders and woes. They claimed the deck was akin to the infamous deck of many things, yet gentler, as if fate herself had crafted it with a lighter touch. Our eyes wide, we yearned to unearth this coveted possession – to bask in its unpredictable blessings.
The very next day, fate smiled upon me when a shadow-shrouded merchant unveiled the deck of some stuff before my eager eyes. The parchment cards, intricately adorned, whispered promises of fleeting enchantments and ephemeral boons. And so, with trembling hands, I dared to draw from the deck’s secrets.
The first card bestowed upon me a robustness of fortitude, filling me with newfound vigor. Emboldened, I drew again and found myself graced with a mighty companion: a loyal tiger from the Eastern jungles.
Yet, the wise tales of caution proved true, for in my thirst for more, I drew again. This time, the deck cursed me with a hunger for bones. I concealed this uncouth desire from others, only feeding in private, undisturbed by the judgement of onlookers.
With each draw, the deck offered its whimsy and charm, but I knew better than to press my luck further. The deck of some stuff was a capricious mistress, and pushing her too far could lead to misfortune. And so, with gratitude in my heart, I folded the deck, cherishing its unpredictable blessings, and stowed it away—a treasured memory of a gambler’s fleeting encounter with the enchanting unknown.
Gideon Thorne, Cardshifter
Deck of Some Stuff
Wondrous Item, Rare
This deck contains thirteen painted parchment cards mounted on enchanted pasteboard.
Before you draw a card, you must declare how many cards you intend to draw and then draw them randomly (you can use a single suit of playing cards to simulate the deck). Any cards drawn in excess of this number have no effect. Otherwise, as soon as you draw a card from the deck, its magic takes effect. You must draw each card no more than 1 hour after the previous draw. If you fail to draw the chosen number, the remaining number of cards fly from the deck on their own and take effect all at once.
Once a card is drawn, it fades from existence.
Beast. [Ace] A tiger appears in a space you choose within 30 feet of you. It serves you loyally until death. You control this character.
Bones. [King] You must consume four pounds of bones daily. For each day you fail to do so, you must succeed on a DC 17 Constitution saving throw or gain a level of exhaustion.
Candle. [Queen] Increase one of your ability scores by 1. The score cannot exceed 20.
Cloud. [Jack] You pass wind at inopportune times. You have disadvantage on Dexterity (Stealth) and Charisma (Persuasion) checks. If you fail on one of these checks, this effect is suppressed until the next dawn.
Coin. [Ten] Ten gems worth 50 gp each or 500 gold pieces appear at your feet.
Glass. [Nine] Any critical hit against you also knocks you prone.
Hammer. [Eight] You learn an artisan’s tool proficiency of your choice.
Shackles. [Seven] Your movement speed is reduced by 5 feet. If you do not move during your turn, this effect is suppressed until the end of your next turn.
Tree. [Six] You subtract 1d4 from your initiative rolls. If your initiative is below 10, this effect is suppressed until the next dawn.
Tome. [Five] You learn a wizard cantrip of your choice.
Tongue. [Four] You learn a language of your choice.
Warrior. [Three] A +1 magic weapon with which you are proficient appears in your hands. You choose the weapon.
Wineskin. [Two] If you’re Medium size, you become Small size. Otherwise, you become Medium size.
Check out last week’s item: the rune die.
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