I found me a proper piece o’ loot called the portable cemetery off a skeleton in a ruined tower. Funny that. It’s a backpack, right, but it’s bigger on the inside than it looks. Fits six stiffs easy, and they don’t even start stinkin’. Handy, that.
See, I used to ‘ave to drag corpses ‘round in a wheelbarrow, which was a right pain when the barrow kept sinkin’ in the swamp. Now? Just stuff ‘em in the backpack, neat as you please. Even better, if you shove a zombie in there for an hour, it comes out all perky-like, extra tough and rarin’ to bite.
Course, there’s downsides. Try explainin’ to the wife why you’re luggin’ a pack full o’ deaders around. “It’s for work!” I says. She ain’t convinced.
But the best bit? Watchin’ some fancy-pants adventurer’s face when I dump a whole squad o’ zombies outta me backpack. Priceless, that. I don’t just keep the dead. I deliver ‘em.
Portable Cemetery
Wondrous Item (Backpack), Uncommon
This backpack connects to an extradimensional space that allows it to hold up to 6 corpses or Undead of Medium size or smaller. It never weighs more than 5 pounds. Corpses held within are treated as if they are under the effects of the gentle repose spell.
An Undead creature that spends at least one hour in the backpack gains 2d8 Temporary Hit Points and has Advantage on its next attack roll or saving throw. Once a creature has benefited from this effect, it cannot do so again until the next dawn.
Check out last week’s item: the bag of rats.
